you know how every girl in the world has a secret code with her girlfriends for when they need a tampon well when I was younger the code was ‘japan is attacking, do you have supplies’ I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain the joke but just to be safe
Oh my fucking god
cute story time: my one friend is dating a boy who is blind and they go for walks everyday and as they walk she describes everything to him and he always says that “she makes everything sound so beautiful, except herself, but one day I’m determined to make her describe herself in the same beautiful way she describes the earth” I’m so
OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE
Good reminder that every expert started out as an amateur
Not all of them
I imagine bumping into my internet friends on the street like “sor-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
“I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt
This just motivated the fuck out of me.
And people are like “he hates being fit and he can’t wait to get chubby again” lol okay ya’ll get woke
SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.
Now that’s how you get laid boys.
OR to be EVEN MORE ROMANTIC you could take the kiddie pool, fill it with balls, and give ur partner and extra hour in the ball pit